Hello everyone, I am new on this community, so please be patient with me when this has been asked already a million times. Just a quick introduction: I am a 35 year old gay man (uncloseted since 15), and had my fair share of hook-ups over the years. I have been in a happy relationship for 8 years now - we are, I would say, monogamish for half a year now (threesome, one or two ‚friends with benefit‘, no ‚side dating). That is all good and fine. We have been monogame (with one exception after 4 years) for the rest of time. I have been diagnosed with ADHD for 8 months now and on medication. As expected, it did not miraculously heal every chaotic part of my life, but I get through the day. With one big exception: sex. And I think the main reason for this is ADHD. I do not want to get into all the details since this could very well be an essay, but to summarize it: - It is virtually impossible for me to enjoy kissing over an ‚extended’ time (…extended referring to a period longer than 5 seconds…), even with my boyfriend. And if tongue starts, I die. Not in the good way. This got significantly worse over the past few years, but even with people I know I enjoyed kissing suddenly made me just… sad, wanting to leave. - during sex, my mind wonders to the funniest places. - in the rare instances of good sex on a semi-regular basis, I would always seek the total ‚passion’ and wonder why the hell I don’t have it (Like, these night long passionate sessions… just not happening to me). - not even once, I had the ‚passionate sex the entire night‘ thingy. -I tried to convince myself that I on the ace-spectrum, but I honestly think I am not. Also aegiosexual doesn‘t seem Right, and demisexual doesn’t cut it either way. So… would there be any advise for me here? I have a bad body image which surely comes into place as well, but at this point, I really consider not having sex ever again because it just should not be that hard (pun intended).